G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
The astounding success of Transformers meant that there was a certain inevitability to further toy-based films being created.

The astounding success of Transformers meant that there was a certain inevitability to further toy-based films being created.  Paramount, it seems, seek to create a monopoly on this genre as they launch another former successful toy franchise onto the big screen in the form of G.I. Joe.

G.I. Joe was an obvious choice as the similarities are profound; both have been popular children’s television series and have sold extremely successfully as comics and toys.  As with transformers, G.I. Joe falls into the category of frantic, fast-paced action that is easy on intelligence and heavy on explosions, CGI and cheesy quips.

Any film directed by Stephen Somers (The Mummy) cannot be accused of taking itself too seriously and G.I. Joe is no exception.  In the first action scene, the two main heroes, Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans) are ambushed on a convoy carrying the latest Nanomite missile technology.  There are explosions abound as their team is decimated but there is an upside to losing the most powerful weapon technology in this not-so-distant-future film, a slow motion shot allows some ridiculous comment to be shouted by each goody/baddy just before their death.

This sets the tone for a film abound with clichés.  Duke, in a sombre flashback, visits a military graveyard on motorbike in the rain wearing sunglasses.  Christopher Ecclestone and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje vie for the worst accents ever to grace the silver screen (Adewale pips the title for producing such a hammed up London accent even though he is actually a Londoner himself).  The bombing of France and destruction of the Eiffel Tower seems to be lifted straight from Team America World Police and leads to the classic line “the French are upset”.

The French certainlywould be upset as there is a toy-like sheen that pervades throughout the CGI effects in the film which, as usual, is over-used by Sommers.  Every single battle is a huge set-piece that could be marvellous in another director’s hands but, with Sommers, it seems over-loaded and confused at times.  The gadgets are definitely cool; the humanoid cyber-suits worn by Duke and Ripcord during the Paris chase scene is a delightful bit of escapism and definitely puts the suit at the top of this reviewer’s fantasy Christmas list.  Sommers is aware of the weaknesses of the film and does not let the tempo drop keeping those with short attention spans constantly enthralled.

There are countless other flaws in the film but this all seems to add to the ridiculous cavalcade.  A slightly more conscientious film would grate but the unashamed embrace of idiocy will please anyone with an inner child and delight younger children.