Machete
If the concept of exploitation cinema doesn’t float your boat then this may convince you otherwise.

For those who saw the fake trailers interposed between Tarantino and Rodriguez’s  Grindhouse double-feature and thought, ‘I want to see those films, right now’, you are in luck. Firstly, because you got to see Planet Terror and Death Proof in their intended form instead of the hastily separated-and-extended cuts for UK release (or you know how to use YouTube), and secondly because Robert Rodriguez has only gone and made one.

Machete is the answer to the ‘Grindhouse Redux’ fan’s dream. Danny Trejo does what he does best as the titular character, an ex- federale who is forced underground after crossing his corrupt chief and a powerful drug baron (Steven Segal). In the twisty plot, he encounters part –rebel part-taco truck owner Luz (Michelle Rodriguez) and Immigration and Customs jobs worth Agent Rivera (Jessica Alba), who both help him out after he is duped into ‘assassinating’ Senator McLaughlin (Robert DeNiro), only to find he has been set-up by the senator’s spin doctor Booth (Jeff Fahey). As Machete puts it, they just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

Grindhouse by name, grindhouse by nature. The film is all a B-movie should be; crude, grimy, violent, highly-sexualised, and funny. Rodriguez has a firm handle on what the audience has been clamouring for, and includes as many shots from the original trailer in the feature-length version. There are a few welcome additions, including a bleach-blonde Lindsay Lohan as Booth’s daughter – who spends most of the film either naked or in a nun’s habit. In fact there are so bit-parts and plot details that could all end up in a confusing mess, but instead add to the film’s charm. Frivolities to look out for include a man escaping from a hospital using someone’s intestines as a rope, finding interesting places to keep a mobile phone, and a crowd of men running away from Jessica Alba (a particularly nice touch from the director).

Machete sets out to satisfy the people who relentlessly campaigned for it to be made after seeing that fake trailer, and by all accounts they should be pretty happy with the end result. If the concept of exploitation cinema doesn’t float your boat then this may convince you otherwise, or is at least worth going to see for the sole reason of Steven Segal wielding a samurai sword.