There are some paths you should not walk down, there are some bridges you should never cross and there are some films that should never, ever be remade.

Most of the time I don’t mind remakes, sometimes I even encourage them. In this post-digital revolution world in which we now live, why not remake superhero movies without the strings? Let’s use the technology to enhance and improve the creations of the past. Superman Returns, Spiderman, Batman Begins and, dare I say it, King Kong have all been remade, restyled and repackaged with huge success, but there is a line.

This is the very same line that Gus Van Sant crossed when he remade Psycho shot-by-shot, but in colour. What exactly did he achieve? Moronic Infamy?

Yet, here we are again, walking down one of those godforsaken paths and halfway along a bridge that has long been burnt because Neil LaBute has decided to make his version of the Anthony Schaffer novel/screenplay The Wicker Man.

When I heard the news of the remake I was literally speechless despite the word ‘no’ rotating on a loop in my brain.

The Wickerman is one of those films that should never be touched. It is not just a rare cult classic of British cinema, but it is an institution. There are so many good things about it; Christopher Lee, the location, the villagers, the dubbed voice of Britt Ekland, the sex-through-wall scene, Edward Woodward, the folk songs, the on-set disruptions, missing reels of film and no wages all resulted in one of the greatest masterpieces of all time. Now, LaBute has signed up Nicholas Cage to lead an American version of the film.

My argument is not that this remake is going to be poor. I have not seen all of it so I will not predict it’s downfall as it would be unfair to comment on the film. The movie might even be well made, but I am objecting to the fact that they even considered remaking it in the first place. However, from what I have seen, the American studio seems to have taken away the symbolism and metaphors and recycled the film into a bland duplicate. Parts that I recognise as so powerful in the original appear weakened by the special effects. I will, however, reserve my judgment for now until I have seen the full cut.

Let’s face facts. Duplicating without any improvement is simply cheating. It is stealing someone else’s idea and making money from it. Van Sant should never have ‘experimented’ (his words not mine) with Psycho and LaBute should not attempt to with The Wickerman.

If a bridge is well-built then why rebuild it? If it is not broke, then don’t fix it. Let’s walk down new paths instead of re-treading old ones.

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